Lover After Me
by sapphi-chan
Summary: (SenRu) Rukawa's feelings haven't change since a certain person left him. What would he feel now when that person return to Japan and he discovers something afterwards?


The Lover After Me  
By: Sapphi-chan  
  
Disclaimers: Slam Dunk and its characters aro not mine. The Lover After Me belongs to Savage Garden.  
  
Genre: Drama, song fiction, a little POV of Rukawa  
Rating: G  
  
  
  
A sunny breeze and morning light greets me.   
  
:: Here I go again I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today::  
  
A new day to pass by. School, training… the same old routine. The desk inside my class awaits me as I used it to sleep off the restless nights I have.   
  
:: It's been seven months and counting::  
  
As I fidget though my things in my duffle bag, a picture falls from the ground. It's our picture… you and me.  
  
:: You've moved on. I still feel exactly the same::  
  
I touch it gently….  
  
  
"Hey you ok kitsune?"   
  
"Aa." I nod, enough to convince people who are looking at our direction including my new friend. Yeah you heard it right he's my friend, Sakuragi. When everybody found out my little secret, he started to be nicer. Guess I haven't noticed that he wanted to be my friend.  
:: It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name  
Like photographs and memories of love  
Steel and granite reminders:  
  
The practice game ended a couple of minutes ago, I look at the watch and it's 7 pm. I sit down at a nearby bench and look at the lights coming from the buildings. Those building we always passed together before.  
  
  
::The city calls your name and I can't move on::  
  
It's hard to forget, you and your smiling face.  
  
"I heard he's in the town."  
  
I look up and saw the redhead standing beside me. "You're kidding. He's not coming back." Back to me…  
  
"I'm not. I just received a phone call from Hikoichi. He told me about it."  
  
Oh Hikoichi, the guy who knows all the Ryonan members activities.  
  
"Hey Rukawa, bet you want to see him soon, am I right?"  
  
My bangs cover my sad eyes. "…no."  
  
"Honto? Are you sure?" His voice echoes through me. "I…I thought you'll be happy and have that smile back on your face."  
  
I can't answer him, as flashbacks and the memories of the very last letter he gave me. Avoiding my tears to flow through my face, so as he can't see me crying.   
  
As I open the door to my room, I dump my bag on the left side and run to my bed and cry.   
  
:: Ever since you've been gone  
The lights go out the same  
The only difference is  
You call another name::   
  
'I'm sorry. I can't be with you anymore. I'm not coming back. I'm…in love with another'   
  
::To your love  
To your lover now  
To your love  
The lover after me::  
  
  
  
I go out to the park, and the night's gentle breeze wraps around my body. At last, silence from all activities made by man. Without the noise of beeping cars, people chatting as they walk on the side steps.   
  
  
::Am I all alone in the universe? There's no love on these streets::  
  
I hear sounds of laughter. It seems that I don't own the park to myself for this night.  
  
:: I have given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway::  
  
Just thinking of him and someone else brought back to me. It's supposed to be me not anyone.   
  
:: So this is my new freedom. It's funny I don't remember being chained::  
  
Then again, I'm free right? I can look for someone to dote my affections and love. Yet… I was never trapped in your arms. Not once or twice. You still give me my freedom to live what I want to be. In your arms I felt protected, sheltered, and loved.  
  
::But nothing seems to make sense anymore  
Without you I'm always twenty minutes late::  
  
It took me days…no… weeks to recover from what you did to me. Especially to my heart.   
  
::And time goes by so slowly  
The nights are cold and lonely  
I shouldn't be holding on  
But I'm still holding on for you::  
  
There are a lot of couples who pass by me. Why are they are so fortunate to have their lovers near them to whisper some endearments? Why can't I be like them…happy?  
  
I'm still hoping. Wishfully thinking.   
  
  
::Here I go again  
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today but I'm standing at your doorway  
I'm calling out your name because I can't move on::  
  
I don't know why am I here standing at your doorway. My outside shell may be strong, but the truth is I'm weak when it comes to emotions. Here I am taking a chance…to get you back…  
  
"Kaede?"  
  
I nod. "I heard you were here."  
The same warm eyes stare back at me. So it's true he's here flesh and blood. Oh please let me be with him…I need to touch him…  
  
"Uh…well…" he scratches his head and give out his smile but not the ones he used to give me…to me only.  
  
The same adorable, cute face, and the way he smile. This is torture.  
  
"Darling? Who's at the doorway? Let the guest in." A female voice interrupts the silence that seems to be an eternal torture.  
  
Then I see her. The one who replaced me in his heart. Long straight black hair and a light blue eyes. A pale face that appeared in the background near him.  
  
She was confused like me. "Excuse me but may I know your name? You seem to know each other. Why don't you come in?"  
  
That's when I know that my last straw was gone. I couldn't have him anymore.   
  
"Kaede, I'd like you to meet my fiancée." and ushers the lady beside him. "And this is an old…friend of mine." as he said it awkwardly.   
  
I bow too. "I…I have to go. It's late… I'm sorry if I disturbed you. I just wanted to…" See you one more time and hopefully wishing to get you back…your love.  
  
And now as I walk back to my house the feeling of emptiness welcomes me. The pain becomes so unbearable that my heart is ready to burst out like tiny pieces of shattered glass.   
I run to the park and stop my tracks and cry. All the efforts and the courage to go there are all useless. It hit me really good on my face and heart. Reality that I can't have him back, the one who have succeeded capturing my heart, has really left me. All these tears can't bring you back…nothing would change the fact…not for me.  
  
::Ever since you've been gone  
The lights go out the same  
The only difference is  
You call another name  
To your love  
To your lover now  
To your love  
The lover after me::  
  
I still love you.  
  
~owari~ 


End file.
